I knew the day was coming, but I didn’t dread it any less. While we were away last week we lost a very dear member of our little family.. our sweet Opossum.

Coming home, knowing that we would have to face the inevitable and tell Briley, made for a very long, hard week. Knowing that you have to break your 3 year olds heart, is heart wrenching. Actually telling her was one of the most painful things we’ve had to do.

We brought Opossum home the day we came home from our honeymoon. We’ve had her almost 8 and a half years. She was the grandaughter of my first Dachshund I ever owned, when I was 8 years old. She was the daughter of my 2nd Dachshund I ever owned, who I had when I was 15. We’ve never NOT had her, as a married couple… as a family. She was our baby before we had a baby. She was still our baby after. I remember overhearing countless conversations of Briley telling Opossum.. “You are like my sister, Opossum!” Of course I think we’re starting to feel a bit better and then I have to write this and it opens that wound back up and tears start flowing.

Those that have pets, know. They aren’t just dogs.. they are family members. And Opossum was definitely that. I’ve lost dogs before.. but never one that was quite as much “one of our children” as our Opossum.. and she left a big hole in our hearts. Our house a lot quieter and just not the same with out her. Everytime someone drops a crumb… we’re reminded that she’s gone, when she doesn’t rush in an take it. Not hearing her whimper as we walk through the door.. or hear her bark every time there is a knock on the door.

She had a few different health problems throughout her life. When Briley was 5 months old she slipped a disc in her back (common in Dachshunds) and her back end was paralyzed. We prayed about what to do and felt led toward crate resting. It was extremely time consuming and difficult and we were told it was one in a million that she would ever walk again. I was literally changing diapers for her AND Briley. I had 2 babies. But a few weeks later.. she walked out of her crate. I have to remind myself that we were given over 3 and a half years more than we thought we would get once that happened.

She was such a huge blessing for our family.. and we could have never asked for a better dog… for us.. for our family.. or for Briley.

Day 1 was extremely difficult. It’s hard to be able to grieve yourself when you have to stay strong for Briley. She’s doing better but she’s not herself at home just yet. The first day she kept thinking she would hear her scratching at the door, wanting back in after using the potty.. but as soon as it would come out of her mouth, she would remember. Seeing the hurt wash over her all over again was horrible. We had to remove a few things from the house.. (her toys, her beds.. and a large beanbag chair that was Briley’s but that Opossum always laid in.) Briley laid in it with Opossum everyday. She avoided it like the plague the first day we were home.. and it dawned on me why. So we moved it out of the room. After I did it Briley asked why.. I told her I thought it was just time for a new chair. She said.. “Because that was mine and Opossum’s chair?” I couldn’t even say anything. She asked me to leave it in the guest room.. but not to get rid of it. She’s dealing with it in her own way.

I feel like there is this constant catch in the back of my throat. I fear the first time someone asks me about it in public and I break down.

Yes… we will most likely get another dog. I’m looking at a particular breed and want to make sure we find the right one for our family and we need to make sure we are not replacing our Opossum. It might take a little time. Briley hasn’t asked for another dog.. she hasn’t even remotely mentioned it. She tells me daily that she really hopes Jesus remembers to tell Opossum everyday how much we love and miss her. Because she is afraid she might forget. Luckily the walls of our home are plastered with pictures of Briley and Opossum… so she will never be forgotten in this home.

I’m thankful everyday that she lived long enough for Briley to be able to remember her… and to love her. I will cherish every single set of pictures I ever took of the 2 of them together. I never realized just how many snap shots from my point and shoot camera I had of them. I even kept some out of focus shots of the 2 of them playing.. not sure why I did at the time.. but today, I’m so glad I did.

I’m writing this because you would be surprised at how many people know Opossum.. from my Facebook or instagram.. from the sessions of her and Briley on the blog.. or just from knowing us. You would be surprised how many people ask about her often.. or mention a picture they liked of Briley and Opossum. Writing this just might be a little bit of therapy for me.. but also a way to close a chapter with our sweet little weenie dog. Although she is no loner here physically, she will remain in our hearts.