Brad + Lori + Bridger + Allie Beth + Connor
Just a warning.. this is very long and you might need tissues. ;)
A couple of weeks ago I had a session with this family. I had been talking with Lori through email for the last few months and I knew a little about her family.. but it wasn’t until after their session, when we stood around and talked that I realized just how truly amazing they are.
It still gives me chills. It’s so strange to think how certain experiences or tests.. some that, at the time, may seem devastating, are what all lead you to God’s real plan for you.
Several years ago Lori discovered she had cancer and though her Dr. told her there was a surgery that could save her life, it would also mean she would never be able to have children. Lori was devastated. Almost a year from the day of the surgery Lori met Brad. Lori and Brad fell in love, got married and moved to Colorado. Away from her family and feeling lonely, Lori ached for a baby of their own so they looked into adoption. After a long process they were finally able to adopt a sweet little baby boy. After only having him a few short months tragically the biological father took the baby from their home. Again Lori was devastated. She was starting to believe that they may never welcome a baby of their own, into their family.
They decided to try again. Their adoption worker found another possible adoption but she began talking to Lori about open adoption… meaning that the birth mother and/or father, would still want to have contact with the family and be able to visit and keep up with how the child was doing. Lori said her first reaction was “No way! This is OUR baby.” She couldn’t imagine having it any other way. She never really allowed it set in that they might finally get the baby she had ached for, for so long, because something could always happen and she would be let down once again. But the day finally came. The birth mother hadn’t had a sonogram to determine the sex of the baby so Lori and Brad had decided on 2 names. Bridger for a boy and if it was a girl Lori had ALWAYS had her heart set on having an Allie Beth. Lori and Brad ended up being an hour late to the hospital and completely missed the baby being born AND they still didn’t know the sex of the baby. They rushed to the room and as they walked through the door they could see the babies biological grandmother sitting in the corner of the room. She smiled and said.. “Bridger’s mom and dad are here!” Lori said when she held him, he was hers. He was HER baby and what she had been missing all this time. It was like she knew him immediately.
They took Bridger home and their family was finally complete. She couldn’t be happier. But when Bridger was 2 they found out that a baby girl might be available for adoption. They talked about it and decided that a boy AND a girl was just what they needed. They anticipated the delivery and counted down the days until they could bring their sweet Allie Beth home. Everything was perfect.
Then it happened; Bridger’s biological grandmother called. Bridger’s birth mom was pregnant… and due soon. Bridger was going to have a half brother!! Lori said as soon as she heard the news she knew without a doubt that they would be bringing that baby home as well. They weren’t given much time to adjust to the idea of having 3 kids before the babies were born. Allie Beth was born.. and she was very sick. She required their complete attention. Then Connor was born… 10… weeks…. later. 2 new babies… 10 weeks apart. Lori said it never had time to quite set in.. until they were at the hospital and Connor was being born. During the delivery Lori was in one corner of the room, near the doctor, and Brad was in the other corner across the room. Bridger and Allie Beth were asleep in a double stroller in the bathroom of the delivery room. Then Connor was born.. he took his first breath… let out his very first cry…. and IMMEDIATELY chiming in with their cries from the bathroom were his new brother and his new sister. Without a word being said Lori and Brad looked across the room at each and in that very second and thought… “what.. have.. we.. done.”
When they left the hospital with Connor, they struggled out the door and into their suburban. Bridger sat in his big boy carseat in the middle, with Allie Beth’s carrier on one side, and Connor’s carrier on his other. As Brad and Lori strapped the 3 KIDS into their vehicle for the very first time, Lori said that Bridger (2 years old at this time) looked at one baby.. and then the other and said.. “Abi Do? Ton-Ton? 2 babies?!?!? OH DEAR!” :)
Lori said the next few weeks were crazy. Allie Beth and Connor were on 2 completely different schedules so Lori slept at one end of the house with one baby and Brad slept at the other end of the house with the other baby.. and with Allie Beth being so sick, she needed even more TLC as a normal newborn. But they had been blessed with 3 children. 3 amazing children, whom they loved SO much and couldn’t imagine life without. Everything that had happened… all of the trials and hard times.. all the scary, unsure moments.. and made them into the loving parents they are.
We talked about how open adoption affected their lives and how looking back, it’s something Lori thought it was something she would never be able to do.. but something the seems to me like it comes so naturally to her now. No matter what, Brad and Lori ARE their mom and their dad… and after meeting them, there is no doubt in my mind that those kids feel the same way. As we are talking, all 3 kids are riding dirt bikes all around us. They were laughing, smiling and just being kids. Lori watched them as she told me their story. I got chill bumps.. just thinking about how everything that took place throughout her life had lead up that THAT moment. The cancer, the surgery, meeting Brad, falling in love and marrying Brad, moving.. everything.. led up to being blessed with those 3 amazing kids. THEIR kids: Bridger.. who tried to act so much older and serious.. until he couldn’t stand it and his brother and sister managed to drag his goofy side out. All the while, watching over Lori and never letting her out of his site. Allie Beth.. who is outgoing, talkative, funny, smart, artistic, creative and an amazing aspiring artist. Connor.. who is silly, funny, crazy, adoorrrrable… and who seems to be the clown in the family. Lori and Brad.. you are amazing.. and you have raised 3 amazing kids. You are so blessed and I don’t think you realize how much of a blessing your story was to me. Thank you for taking me in.. and thank you for letting me share you story. ;)
Bridger
Allie Beth
I love, love, LOVE this image.
Erica Hignight - You’re right, I did need tissues. What a beautiful and amazing family!
Elise Ellexson - oh my goodness this did make me cry.. such a beautiful story. this family is truly blessed and they all look so happy :) i am so happy that everything worked out for them…God is so great!! amazing pictures tara!!!
Tiffany - LOOOOOVE this story! AMAZING pictures! totally AWESOME looking family! I’m adopted…the baby of six…Never knew my biological family until I graduated high school. I LOVE awesome adoption stories! And, this is definitely one! Good job, Tara!
tina - beautiful story, beautiful family, beautiful images! wonderful work as always :)
Rachel Stewart - This made me cry… LITERALLY! This an amazing story and these kiddos are TRULY blessed although I’m sure Brad and Lori feel that they are the ones that are blessed. So inspirational! God worked his magic and brought this wonderful family together to live happily ever after. May God bless them with many more years of happiness! : )
Lori - Thanks, Tara! For everything …. for the amazing pictures, for capturing my family, for “getting” each of us individually and as a family. Open adoption is an evolutionary process, and one that both Brad and I were called to. People tell us frequently that we are amazing people to have done what we did. We know differently. We were just a couple who wanted to be a family. We were blessed by birthmothers and birthfathers who CHOSE LIFE for these children and then CHOSE LOVE and made a life plan for these babies that they loved unselfishly. I love each of these children as any mother loves her children. My bonus is that I also get to love their birthfamilies. It is impossible for me to not LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the woman who gave birth to MY babies! Allie Beth is serving as maid of honor when her birthparents marry on her 12th birthday this upcoming February. A long overdue apology from bmom to bdad has resulted in true love finally being allowed to bloom. She will stand with her 4 half-siblings as they all honor this love. Connor & Bridger have a darling younger 3rd brother and he and his mom lived with us once when things were tough for them. My boys know that we will always be a safe haven for their birthmom and half brother if it’s ever needed again. We see them whenever we can get back to Colorado. It’s all about family. You get that. THANKS.
dayna - omg tara! these are amazing! i actually kept these kids this summer and they truely are one amazing family! these kids are each unquie in their own ways. it was such a great summer i shared with them and im thankful to have had the chance to get to know each of them.
amber - Such an amazing story and yes I did almost need tissues! Its amazing how things play out in life! :) Such an amazing couple to raise these children.